On being a ‘Home Engineer’

It’s been two years now since I officially became a stay at home mom.  I remember the night Vaughn and I had the conversation and made the final decision about it like it was yesterday.  I still have that gut feeling that this is where and what I’m supposed to be doing.  Now, don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t come with ease.  I remember leaving and calling myself a ‘Home Engineer,” and not a stay at home mom.  I was worried people would judge this decision I felt so strongly about.  Yes, I left an amazing job where I was in charge of a great deal, I felt important, knew a lot of people, etc etc.  However, that wasn’t me, not what I thought was fulfilling in my life.  “Home Engineer’ felt like I could still give a title to someone and it’ll be cute/funny and it’ll take the edge off of the fact that I was giving all of it up to be home with my babies.  In a working world where there were many career driven mothers, it was difficult to try to explain myself and the reasons.  It was my gut feeling telling me I needed to be home, what other reason did I need to give?

Now being out of the 9-5 world for two years I’ve finally come a place where I am comfortable with what I’m doing and how I’m doing it.  It’s not all play dates and fun nor is it all housework and errands, but a what I believe to be something that’s well balanced, for all involved (kids and me).  I wouldn’t say I’m a typical stay at home mom, I still work and work several ‘out of the house’ jobs at that.  Trying to describe what I do to someone is extremely difficult.  It seems that moms we can only lump ourselves as either/or- working or not working.  But I do both, part time working, full on mom, and I love it.  I’m so thankful that I can work a few hours a week and pay for things on my own but yet, spend my days with our girls.  The further I get from working a ‘9-5’ the more I know that I’ll more than likely never go back, even when the kids are grown and gone.  Don’t get me wrong, Vaughn Granger will not let me sit around eating bon bons; I will work, just not in the capacity that most of corporate America does. 

Callie and Chloe changed my life forever, they showed me what was truly important and worth scarifying.  Do I miss lunch dates, and being able to have adult conversations with my favorite Chamber Chicks, you have no idea.  However, their little cuddles and sweet baby faces don’t last long and I’m willing to sacrifice it all to see it each and every day.